Scaffolding: A Powerful, Evidence-Based Parenting Skill

By Caroline Fitsimones, pediatric OT, ADHD-RSP & ADHD Parent Coach

Scaffolding is one of the most impactful evidence-based strategies we can use to support our children’s growth, independence, and confidence. But let’s be honest—it takes practice. Especially when you’re watching your child struggle and every part of you wants to jump in and help.

Think of scaffolding as just enough support—not so much that it takes away your child’s opportunity to feel proud of their success, but not so little that they become overwhelmed or shut down.

Scaffolding typically involves these key steps:

1. Identify the breakdown

Pinpoint what your child is struggling with. This could be something like putting on a shirt, brushing their teeth, or completing a school project. Start with one specific task or routine.

2. Break it down

Divide the task into smaller, bite-sized, achievable steps. For example, if they’re building a structure, guide them to group blocks by size or show them what the first step might be.

3. Support

This doesn’t mean doing it for them. Offer minimal demonstrations, use verbal cues, or gently guide their hands if needed. The goal is to provide just enough help so they can keep moving forward without giving up.

4. Encourage and praise

Celebrate effort and progress—not just the finished product. Praise small wins and persistence. This builds confidence and motivation to keep trying.

5. Fade support

As your child begins to get the hang of it, step back a little. Reduce the level of assistance and allow them to take more ownership of the task. Think of it as shifting from coach to cheerleader.

6. Be patient and flexible

Scaffolding is a process. It won’t come naturally overnight, especially if your instinct has always been to jump in at the first sign of struggle. But with time, you’ll learn to pause, assess, and offer the right level of support.

Scaffolding is at the heart of what we teach inside my Chaos to Calm coaching program. It’s about empowering your child without overpowering them. With the right tools, you can step back with confidence—knowing they’re learning the skills they need to succeed.

Want more tips like this? Join my Facebook group or reach out at caroline@carolinefitsimonescoaching.com for info on how Chaos to Calm can support your family.