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Power Struggles, Resistance, and Follow-Through: Why Executive Function Matters

If you’re parenting a child with ADHD (or even a "strong-willed" child without a diagnosis), you probably know what it feels like to end up in constant power struggles.


You ask your child to start homework, clean their room, or get ready for bed and it spirals into resistance, negotiation, or flat-out refusal. You find yourself repeating the same directions over and over again, getting louder each time, until everyone is frustrated.


It’s not that your child doesn’t want to cooperate. And it’s not that you’re not trying hard enough as a parent. The truth is, many of these daily battles are rooted in executive function skills, the brain’s ability to plan, organize, manage time, control impulses, and follow through.

When those skills are weak (which is common in kids with ADHD), even simple tasks can feel overwhelming.


Why This Feels So Hard


  • Power struggles: Your child resists because starting or switching tasks feels impossible without support.

  • Lack of follow-through: They have good intentions, but weak working memory and poor planning make it hard to finish what they start.

  • Parent exhaustion: You’re stuck managing everything, on top of navigating your child’s resistance, which can leave you drained before the day is half over.


The result? You feel like you’re carrying the entire household on your shoulders—while your child is seen as “defiant” when really, they’re missing skills.


What Life Could Look Like Instead


The good news is, these struggles don’t have to define your days. When executive function skills begin to grow, step by step, everything shifts:


  • More follow-through: Homework, chores, and routines get completed with less nagging.

  • Calmer days: You feel more like a coach and less like a referee, guiding instead of fighting.

  • Confidence for your child: They start to believe, “I can do hard things,” and you get to celebrate wins instead of managing meltdowns.


A Different Way Forward: Simple Daily Moves to Build Executive Function Skills


Instead of only relying on reminders, consequences, or pushing harder (which often backfires), we can build the missing skills step by step. 


I created the Power Up: Executive Function Toolkit to give you a simple, parent-friendly way to start. Inside, you’ll find:


  • A quick assessment to understand your child’s executive function profile

  • Daily and weekly tracking tools to reduce overwhelm

  • A “Wins Tracker” to help your child build confidence—and help you notice progress (even on tough days)

  • Bonus: A simple strategy sheet with ideas you can try right away



This isn’t about adding more to your plate. It’s about giving you clarity, structure, and a starting point forward when everything feels like a battle.


Here’s to raising resilient kids, one step at a time,

Caroline



 
 
 

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