5 Powerful Strategies to Reduce Power Struggles and Build Independence in Your Child

As an ADHD parent coach and pediatric OT, one of the most common concerns I hear from families is how to help kids follow through without constant reminders, battles, or frustration. When executive function challenges are in the mix—as they often are with ADHD—it can feel like you're stuck in a loop of nagging, meltdowns, or avoidance.

The good news? We can support our children’s developing executive function skills in ways that feel doable, respectful, and connection-focused. In my recent YouTube video, I shared five strategies that I use both in my home and with the families I coach to reduce overwhelm, build independence, and foster emotional safety.

Here’s a quick summary of the tools I covered:

1. Teach-Back to Reveal Understanding

Instead of repeating instructions over and over, try asking your child to teach the steps back to you.This strategy helps uncover gaps in comprehension that might be masked by nodding or saying “okay” without true understanding. It's a respectful way to check in and it gives your child a chance to feel competent and heard.

2. Think Out Loud to Make Planning Visible

Modeling is one of the most underused tools we have as parents.By talking through your own planning process (e.g., “First I’m going to fold the laundry, then take a break before starting dinner”), you help your child develop metacognitive skills, the ability to think about their thinking. This kind of modeling shows them how to plan, not just that planning is important.

3. Collaborate on Solutions Instead of Correcting Immediately

When your child is stuck or avoiding a task, try pausing before correcting.Instead of jumping in with a fix, ask questions like, “What’s your plan?” or “What part feels tricky?” This opens the door for collaborative problem-solving and helps your child feel safe enough to engage, even when things are hard.

4. Anchor Challenging Tasks with Strengths or Successes

Kids with executive function challenges often struggle with transitions and tasks that feel too big. Pairing a hard task with something they enjoy or feel confident doing (like sketching out their thoughts before diving into a writing assignment) can create momentum and reduce resistance. This strategy also builds positive associations with effort and completion.

5. Use Reflection Lists to Build Self-Awareness

After a task or tricky moment, make a list with your child of what worked and what they might try differently next time.This isn't about punishment or pointing out mistakes, it's about gently guiding them toward metacognition and giving them ownership in their growth. When kids reflect, they learn to plan ahead and adjust with confidence.

Why These Strategies Matter

Each of these strategies supports more than just task completion... they help build trust, reduce emotional reactivity, and promote co-regulation between you and your child. You're not just getting through the day; you're equipping your child with tools that serve them for life.

✨ If you’d like to go deeper into these types of tools and learn how to use them consistently at home, I’d love to support you through my Chaos to Calm Essentials course or through my signature 8-week Chaos to Calm Parent Coaching Program where we personalize the strategies for your unique child and family.

Together, we can build a home where connection leads the way,

Caroline

Caroline Fitsimones is a pediatric occupational therapist and ADHD parent coach, specializing in executive function, co-regulation, and connection-based parenting support.

Visit https://www.carolinefitsimonescoaching.com/about to learn more.